Nasdaq007

I can understand that writing that initial message to a stranger you would like to make your girlfriend can be a little awkward, which is why I’m happy I never have to do it (I have a strict don’t-initiate-contact rule—it gives me the illusion that I still have my dignity). And I have read my share of awkward messages. But he who calls himself Nasdaq007 really takes the cake. Case and point below...he writes:

Seeking Someone Positive

Obviously your profile caught my eye and I therefore wanted to see if there was a connection. It appears that we have a lot in common according to the ideal match criteria. I believe I fit your profile. Please contact me at your earliest convenience as I would like to see if there is a chance that we can progress things forward :)

I racked my brain about what in my profile could possible indicate we had ANYTHING in common. Sure, I was a little tipsy when I wrote my profile, but I was sure I didn't write anything about wanting to become the mother of two Asian children that "sometimes live at home" according to his profile. Match.com, you better get your shit together if you thinks that when I say I am looking for a tall, White guy, in his twenty’s what I really want is a 5'8 40-yr old Asian father of two.

And shame to you Nasdaq007 for being so deluded as well! My profile clearly states my shallow criterion and you did not meet it one bit.

Needless to say I will not be contacting the James Bond of the Stock Market at my earliest convenience. FAIL!